Blog
With, To, For: Movements of a Wise Marriage
Marriage is a supreme challenge. To love with integrity and openness to growth requires particular dispositions, knowledge, and embodied skills. Many of the couples that come to me for therapy are as desirous of connection and intimacy as they are frustrated with the...
Quick Tips for Men With Families
For the men who desire to be responsible spouses and fathers but who didn’t have solid male role models growing up, and who have tenuous attachment histories with their family of origins, and who may even carry the burdens of trauma that have a detrimental impact on emotion regulation, here are some quick tips for increasing your attentional, emotional and behavioral regulation for the sake of learning to embody responsibility, principles and ultimately love.
Resolute DBT for Men
And to fully embrace the necessity of commitment in DBT to live into one’s own mission and goals as well as the undertaking of learning and applying new skills in all relevant contexts, this program has been dubbed Resolute, which has an empowering and challenging resonance with the men. It appeals to their desire for purpose and connotes determination and adherence to a cause. This will be to self, the shaping of integrity, and fidelity to friends, family, and community. To be resolute is to cultivate a willingness to subordinate moods to principles and to avoid avoiding. It suggests a willingness to work hard and to be steady in acquiring and generalizing skills necessary to live a principled wise mind life.
Thoughts on Skills for a Wise Marriage
Introduction When a couple is in distress or adrift they may seek professional help to mend their relationship or get back on track to rediscover their underlying friendship, and willingness to commit to active love, in all the mundane moments as well as the grand...
The Riches and Risks of Relationships
Relationships can be difficult. But if we cultivate mindfulness and courage, we can embrace the riches and risks of love and experience growth and meaning.
The Power of Mindful Parenting
We improve and grow into fallible stability with our kids, who, through our dialectical dance, teach us as much as we teach them. Maybe more so.
Attention: A Marital Superpower
Depleted attention leaves us in a pall of ignorance, blinding us to opportunities to connect with ourselves, our spouses, and even our children. Depleted attention impedes even our willingness to try to muster our minimal reserves of attention to seek ways to energize our attention through the simple acts of walking with our beloved while holding their precious hand.
Dancing With Emotions
The goals of emotion regulation entail learning about the nature of emotions and how they work and why we can trust them, how to tamp down and change overly abundant or disproportionate emotional reactions to situations without suppressing them, and ultimately how to let go of emotional suffering while befriending our emotions. All within the dialectical framework giving primacy to the dialectic of acceptance vs. change, as we live into new patterns.
Emotion Regulation for ADHD
WISE MIND FOR THE DISTRACTED MIND: EMOTION REGULATION SKILLS FOR ADHD Emotions and Adult ADHD Emotion regulation is getting more attention in research and clinical circles as a significant dynamic in the lives of ADHD adults, with more voices advocating for changes to...
2022 and You: Happy Mindful New Year!
Happy New Year to all of you dear readers. I hope that your recent traverse through the holidays was filled with warmth, love, and joy. And now that we have crossed the threshold into 2022, many of us are making new year resolutions to lose weight, save money, quit...
Ebb and Flow in Life and Love
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of...
Wise Mind Counters Rejection Sensitivity
Adult ADHD and Self-Criticism We ADHD adults know too well the pain of persistently letting down others. We're chronically tardy. We make small careless mistakes in details that can lead to disastrous outcomes in schoolwork, professions, or home life. At best we have...
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