Blog
Thoughts on Skills for a Wise Marriage
INTRODUCTION When a couple is in distress or adrift they may seek professional help to mend their relationship or get back on track to rediscover their underlying friendship, and willingness to commit to active love, in all the mundane moments as well as the grand...
The Riches and Risks of Relationships
Relationships can be difficult. But if we cultivate mindfulness and courage, we can embrace the riches and risks of love and experience growth and meaning.
The Power of Mindful Parenting
We improve and grow into fallible stability with our kids, who, through our dialectical dance, teach us as much as we teach them. Maybe more so.
Attention: A Marital Superpower
Depleted attention leaves us in a pall of ignorance, blinding us to opportunities to connect with ourselves, our spouses, and even our children. Depleted attention impedes even our willingness to try to muster our minimal reserves of attention to seek ways to energize our attention through the simple acts of walking with our beloved while holding their precious hand.
Dancing With Emotions
The goals of emotion regulation entail learning about the nature of emotions and how they work and why we can trust them, how to tamp down and change overly abundant or disproportionate emotional reactions to situations without suppressing them, and ultimately how to let go of emotional suffering while befriending our emotions. All within the dialectical framework giving primacy to the dialectic of acceptance vs. change, as we live into new patterns.
Emotion Regulation for ADHD
WISE MIND FOR THE DISTRACTED MIND: EMOTION REGULATION SKILLS FOR ADHD Emotions and Adult ADHD Emotion regulation is getting more attention in research and clinical circles as a significant dynamic in the lives of ADHD adults, with more voices advocating for changes to...
2022 and You: Happy Mindful New Year!
Happy New Year to all of you dear readers. I hope that your recent traverse through the holidays was filled with warmth, love, and joy. And now that we have crossed the threshold into 2022, many of us are making new year resolutions to lose weight, save money, quit...
Ebb and Flow in Life and Love
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of...
Wise Mind Counters Rejection Sensitivity
Adult ADHD and Self-Criticism We ADHD adults know too well the pain of persistently letting down others. We're chronically tardy. We make small careless mistakes in details that can lead to disastrous outcomes in schoolwork, professions, or home life. At best we have...
Love in the Intervals: Elements of a Wise Marriage
Turning Toward and Togetherness Thanks to the work of Doctors John and Julie Gottman, we have decades of consistent evidence that shows togetherness and turning toward patterns are key to mutual appreciation, love, and respect. And even where there are patterns of...
Wise Mind, ADHD and Self-Acceptance
Head and heart further cohere as we engage core mindfulness skills, cultivating wise mind, and this counters the inner fractious self-critical chatter we’ve carried our whole lives.
Accept and Redirect: ADHD and Mindfulness
Distraction Frustration Perhaps you find your head busy with thoughts about the unfairness that you can't have a block of time for yourself. Maybe you begin to judge yourself for not being able to let go of the passing feet and giggles of your children, who were only...
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